Destiny

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Wow, it's been a long time, where have you been?"

The twenty dollar bill answered, "I have been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "My life is quite monotonous. You know, church, church, church."
 

Church

A woman was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.

After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking man, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

And the man replied, "Yeah, I'm glad it's done too!"
 

The Paradox

One fine day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.

A deaf policeman heard the noise, and saved the lives of the two dead boys.

If you don't believe my lies are true, ask the blind man, he saw it too!
 

"Yes, two times."

A politician asks his wife, "Have you ever cheated on me?"

"Yes, two times." says his wife.

He yells, "What!? When?"

His wife answers, "10 years ago, when you needed a surgery and we didn't have the insurance, and I had a doctor treated you for free. And the second time: 3 years ago when you stood in election and you were behind 150 votes."
 

Disease

A man and a woman are having a one night stand.

When the passion is over, the woman asks, "You haven't got AIDS, have you?"

He replies, "Hell no!"

She responds, "Oh, good to hear that! I just don't want to get that again!"

 

Home   1   2   3   4   5